When the Word “Trigger” Becomes… Triggering
I’m going to say something that might feel ironic coming from a therapist:
I don’t like the word “trigger.”
Not because trauma isn’t real. Not because nervous system responses aren’t valid. But because this word—once meaningful and specific—has become so overused, stretched, and misapplied that it’s started to lose its impact. And honestly? It annoys me when I hear it casually thrown around.
And I know I’m not alone.
What “Triggered” Originally Meant
In trauma-informed and clinical settings, a trigger refers to something that activates a trauma response in the nervous system—often without conscious choice.
A true trauma trigger can:
Pull someone out of the present moment
Activate fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown
Cause physical symptoms (heart racing, dissociation, nausea, panic)
Feel overwhelming or disproportionate to what’s happening now
Triggers are rooted in past experiences, not preferences. They are not about being uncomfortable—they’re about the nervous system reacting as if danger is happening again.
That distinction matters.
How the Word Got Hijacked
Somewhere along the way, trigger became a catch-all phrase for:
Being annoyed
Feeling challenged
Disliking something
Feeling emotionally uncomfortable
Not wanting to engage
“I’m triggered by that conversation.”
“That opinion is triggering.”
“I’m triggered by that person’s energy.”
And here’s where I’ll be honest: this is where the word starts to bother me.
Because when everything is a trigger, nothing is clearly a trigger anymore.
Why It Bothers Me (Personally)
As a therapist, I see how language shapes meaning. And when we use “trigger” for everything, we blur important emotional distinctions.
Discomfort isn’t danger.
Being challenged isn’t trauma.
Feeling irritated isn’t a nervous system flashback.
When people label every unpleasant feeling as being “triggered,” it:
Minimizes real trauma responses
Makes it harder for people with actual trauma histories to be taken seriously
Encourages avoidance instead of emotional tolerance
Turns normal emotional reactions into something pathologized
And yes—on a human level—it’s frustrating to hear a powerful clinical word reduced to shorthand for “I don’t like this.”
Discomfort Is Not the Enemy
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: emotional discomfort is a normal and necessary part of growth.
You can feel:
Upset
Defensive
Hurt
Activated
Overwhelmed
…without being traumatized.
Not everything needs to be labeled as a trigger to be valid.
Sometimes the feeling is:
A boundary being touched
An old belief being challenged
An emotional wound being revealed
A nervous system learning something new
Those experiences deserve language—but not all of them are trauma responses.
So What Language Does Help?
Instead of defaulting to “triggered,” try:
“That brought up a lot for me.”
“That hit something sensitive.”
“I felt emotionally activated.”
“That made me uncomfortable.”
“That connects to something from my past.”
These phrases create clarity without minimizing trauma.
Honoring Trauma Without Overusing the Word
This isn’t about policing language or dismissing anyone’s experience. It’s about respecting the weight of words—especially ones tied to trauma.
At Abbey Rose Therapy, we care deeply about trauma-informed work. And part of that care is using language intentionally, not reflexively.
Because words matter.
Because trauma deserves precision.
And because not every uncomfortable feeling needs to be called a trigger to be real.
Sometimes it’s just… a feeling.
And that’s okay.
Warmly,
Abbey Vince, AMFT
