In a world where entertainment is always one click away, are we unintentionally taking away one of the most important parts of childhood?
Think about the last time your child said, "I'm bored."
What was your first instinct?
Did you offer them an activity? Hand them an iPad? Suggest going outside? Turn on the television? Maybe you felt that familiar pressure to find something, anything, to keep them occupied.
We've become incredibly good at making sure children are entertained. Between tablets, streaming services, video games, extracurricular activities, organized sports, and endless digital content, there is almost always something available to fill the space.
And while none of these things are inherently bad, I think we've lost something along the way.
We've started treating boredom like a problem that needs to be solved rather than an experience children need to learn how to navigate.
And that distinction matters more than we might think.
Boredom Isn't the Enemy
Somewhere along the way, boredom became something we began trying to protect children from.
We don't want them to be unhappy, frustrated, restless, or uncomfortable. So we fill their schedules, provide entertainment, and look for ways to make sure they're always engaged.
But boredom is not inherently harmful. In fact, learning to tolerate it is an important part of development.
Boredom creates an opportunity for children to slow down, explore their surroundings, experiment with ideas, develop creativity, and discover what genuinely interests them.
When a child has nothing to do, they have an opportunity to figure out what to do.
They might build a fort, invent an imaginary game, draw something ridiculous, make up a story, explore the backyard, or spend twenty minutes turning a cardboard box into an elaborate spaceship.
None of these activities need to be productive. They don't need to teach a lesson or accomplish a goal.
Sometimes, the value is simply in the process of figuring something out.
Not every moment of childhood needs to be optimized, structured, or entertaining.
The Problem With Constant Stimulation
Children today are growing up in an environment where stimulation is almost unlimited.
A video ends, and another automatically starts. A game gets boring, so a new one is downloaded. A notification appears, and attention shifts. There is always something new, something faster, something more exciting.
Digital entertainment is designed to capture and maintain attention. Much of it offers immediate feedback, constant novelty, and very little waiting.
Compare that to sitting in a room with a box of Legos, waiting for a friend, or trying to figure out what to do on a rainy afternoon.
Those experiences require something different.
They require patience, creativity, frustration tolerance, and the ability to generate your own entertainment.
When children become accustomed to having stimulation readily available, ordinary activities can feel less engaging by comparison. They may struggle with waiting, become frustrated when something isn't immediately interesting, or expect an adult to provide the next activity.
This doesn't mean screens have permanently damaged a child's attention span or that every child who enjoys an iPad has difficulty entertaining themselves. Technology is part of modern childhood, and it can offer meaningful opportunities for learning, creativity, and connection.
But it does raise an important question:
Are children getting enough opportunities to practice being unstimulated?
When We Accidentally Become Our Children's Entertainment Directors
There is another piece of this conversation that I think deserves attention: our role as parents.
Many parents have become incredibly involved in making sure their children are constantly occupied. We organize activities, schedule playdates, sign them up for sports, provide entertainment, and step in when they don't know what to do.
And often, it comes from a good place.
We want our children to be happy. We want them to have experiences, opportunities, and enriching childhoods. We want to give them things we may not have had ourselves.
But sometimes, in our effort to give children everything, we unintentionally take away opportunities for them to develop something independently.
When a child says, "I'm bored," it doesn't necessarily mean they need an activity.
Sometimes they need a little space to figure it out.
When we immediately jump in with suggestions, solutions, or entertainment, we can unintentionally communicate that boredom is something they cannot manage on their own.
And over time, children may become accustomed to looking outward for stimulation rather than learning how to create it themselves.
This is not about withdrawing support or expecting children to independently entertain themselves all day. It's about recognizing that not every uncomfortable moment requires adult intervention.
What Happens When Children Never Have to Figure Out What to Do?
One of the most valuable parts of unstructured time is that children get to practice skills that aren't always taught directly.
They learn how to:
Problem-solve: What can I do with what I have?
Use their imagination: What if this box became a spaceship?
Tolerate frustration: I don't know what to do right now, and that's okay.
Develop independence: I can figure something out without someone telling me what to do.
Explore their interests: What do I actually enjoy when nobody else is directing me?
Regulate themselves: I can experience restlessness without immediately needing something to make it go away.
These are skills that extend far beyond childhood.
As adults, we need to tolerate waiting, uncertainty, discomfort, and moments when nothing particularly exciting is happening. We need to generate our own motivation, sit with our thoughts, and find ways to engage with the world around us.
Children need opportunities to practice these skills before adulthood demands them.
Boredom Is Where Imagination Gets a Chance to Show Up
Think back to your own childhood.
Maybe you spent an entire afternoon outside with neighborhood friends, inventing games that made absolutely no sense. Maybe you rearranged your bedroom, made up elaborate stories, played with toys for hours, or sat around trying to figure out what to do next.
You probably weren't entertained every minute of the day.
And that was okay.
Some of the most creative experiences happen when children aren't given a predetermined activity or an adult-designed outcome.
Unstructured play gives children permission to experiment, make mistakes, change directions, and create something entirely their own.
There is a difference between giving a child a coloring book with instructions and handing them a blank piece of paper.
Both have value. But one has a predetermined direction, while the other leaves room for possibility.
Sometimes the best thing we can give children is the opportunity to decide what happens next.
So, What Do We Do About It?
This isn't an argument for eliminating screens, canceling every extracurricular activity, or making childhood unnecessarily difficult.
It's an invitation to create a little more space.
A few places to start:
1. Stop rushing to fix boredom.
The next time your child says they're bored, resist the urge to immediately provide an activity. You can acknowledge it without taking responsibility for solving it.
Try: "I hear you. I wonder what you might come up with."
2. Build in unstructured time.
Not every afternoon needs to be scheduled. Leave room for children to explore, play, and decide what they want to do without an adult directing the experience.
3. Create opportunities for independent play.
Start with manageable amounts of time based on your child's developmental stage and individual needs. Some children will need more support getting started, and that's okay.
4. Be intentional about screens.
Pay attention to when screens become the automatic response to waiting, frustration, transitions, or discomfort. Create opportunities for children to experience those moments without immediately reaching for a device.
5. Let children struggle a little.
Not every moment of frustration requires a solution. Sometimes children need encouragement to stay with an activity, work through a challenge, or come up with an alternative.
6. Model it yourself.
Children notice how adults spend their time. If every quiet moment in our own lives is filled with scrolling, checking notifications, or turning on something in the background, it becomes harder to model what it looks like to simply be present.
Maybe We Don't Need to Give Children More. Maybe We Need to Give Them Space.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about childhood is that a good childhood needs to be full.
Full schedules. Full calendars. Full activity lists. Constant opportunities. Constant entertainment.
But what if some of the most important developmental experiences happen in the empty spaces?
The afternoon with nothing planned. The rainy day without a screen. The car ride without a video playing. The moment when a child has to figure out what to do with themselves.
We cannot prepare children for every uncomfortable experience they will encounter in life. But we can give them opportunities to practice navigating discomfort while they are still in the safety of childhood.
And perhaps that starts with allowing them to be bored.
Not every moment needs to be filled. Not every feeling needs to be fixed. Not every silence needs to be interrupted.
Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give children is the opportunity to discover what happens when nobody tells them what to do next.
Let them be bored. Let them wonder. Let them create. Let them figure it out.
They might surprise you.
Warmly,
Abbey Vince, AMFT
