Doing Hard Things on Purpose (So Life’s Hard Things Don’t Hit as Hard)

Let’s be honest for a second.

Most of us spend a lot of energy trying to make life easier. Softer routines. Less discomfort. Avoiding things that feel hard, awkward, exhausting, or emotionally stretchy. And honestly? That makes total sense. Life is already heavy.

But here’s the plot twist we don’t talk about enough in therapy, athletics, or real life:

Intentionally doing hard things—on purpose—can make the unavoidable hard stuff in life feel more manageable.

Not disappear. Not painless. Just… less overwhelming.

Athletes Get This (Even If They Don’t Call It Mental Health)

If you’ve ever trained for anything—lifting, running, a sport, a competition—you already understand this concept at a gut level.

You don’t do brutal workouts because they’re fun.
You do them because they prepare you.

Athletes practice discomfort. They choose early mornings, sore muscles, boring drills, and repetition because they know something important:
Hard things don’t show up politely when you’re ready.

They show up suddenly. Injuries. Losses. Bad seasons. Retirement. Identity shifts.

That’s why watching the Winter Olympics hits differently. These aren’t just physically gifted people—they’re emotionally conditioned for adversity.

Lindsey Vonn Is a Masterclass in This

Take Lindsey Vonn.

Her career wasn’t some smooth, inspirational montage. It was filled with devastating injuries, surgeries, comebacks, setbacks, and public pressure. She didn’t just endure hard things—she repeatedly chose to return to environments that demanded pain, discipline, and uncertainty.

And no, that didn’t make her invincible.

But it made her resilient.

She built a nervous system that knew how to stay engaged under stress. She learned how to fall, get back up, and keep going—even when the outcome wasn’t guaranteed.

That’s not just elite athlete stuff. That’s human stuff.

This Isn’t About Punishing Yourself

Let’s clear this up quickly because it matters:

Doing hard things on purpose is not about grinding yourself into the ground, glorifying suffering, or “earning” rest.

It’s about intentional discomfort, not self-punishment.

Think:

• Taking a cold walk instead of canceling because it’s uncomfortable

• Having the honest conversation instead of avoiding it

• Going to the gym when motivation is low (but capacity is there)

• Sitting with emotions instead of numbing them

• Trying something new knowing you might not be good at it

These are small, chosen challenges that tell your brain:

“I can do hard things and survive them.”

Why This Helps When Life Gets Hard (Because It Will)

When life throws something heavy your way—grief, injury, burnout, anxiety, change—you don’t suddenly rise to the occasion.

You fall back on what your nervous system knows.

If your system is used to avoiding discomfort, hard moments feel intolerable.
If your system is used to practicing discomfort, hard moments feel painful—but navigable.

That’s the difference.

You’re not tougher.
You’re not numb.
You’re trained.

This Is for Non-Athletes Too (Promise)

You don’t need to love sports or watch the Olympics to apply this.

Doing hard things on purpose might look like:

• Building routines that require consistency, not motivation

• Challenging negative self-talk instead of believing it

• Showing up to therapy and actually being honest

• Setting boundaries even when it’s uncomfortable

• Letting yourself fail at something new

Life hardship doesn’t ask if you’re ready. But you can prepare.

A Gentle Reframe We Love in Therapy

At Abbey Rose Therapy, we often talk about this idea gently—not as “push harder,” but as:

“What’s a manageable hard thing you could choose today?”

Not the hardest thing.
Not everything at once.
Just one intentional stretch.

Because when you practice doing hard things on purpose, you’re not just building grit—you’re building trust with yourself.

And that trust?
That’s what carries you when life gets heavy.

Warmly,

Abbey Vince, AMFT