Self-Centered vs. Narcissist: Understanding the Difference and Navigating Relationships
You’ve probably heard the word narcissist tossed around a lot lately—on social media, in conversations with friends, maybe even in therapy. But the truth is, it’s often overused. Not everyone who’s self-centered or difficult is a narcissist. So how do you really tell the difference, and what can you do if someone you love fits that description?
Self-Centered vs. Narcissist: The Key Differences
It’s normal for people to have moments of self-focus. A self-centered person might:
Occasionally prioritize their own needs over others
Talk about themselves frequently
Make small decisions that mainly benefit themselves
This can be frustrating, but it doesn’t automatically mean they’re a narcissist.
A narcissist, however, displays a consistent pattern that goes deeper:
They crave admiration and validation constantly
They lack genuine empathy for others
They manipulate or exploit people to maintain their self-image
Their behavior often causes emotional harm repeatedly
In other words, self-centeredness is situational, while narcissism is pervasive.
Loving a Narcissist: What You Need to Know
If you realize the person you’re dating is a narcissist, it can feel like a gut punch. It’s easy to blame yourself or hope they’ll change, but navigating this relationship requires clarity and boundaries.
Recognize the reality – Accepting that their behavior is unlikely to change is the first step. Hope alone won’t create empathy or mutual care.
Set firm boundaries – Protect your emotional well-being. This might mean limiting certain topics, controlling the time you spend together, or even stepping back entirely.
Seek support – Therapy, support groups, or trusted friends can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
Consider your options – Decide what’s healthy for you. Sometimes love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship with a narcissist without severe personal cost.
Moving Forward
Not everyone self-centered is permanently “stuck” in their ways, and not every relationship with a narcissist has to end immediately. But the common thread is awareness:
Self-centered partners may be open to growth with honest communication and willingness to compromise.
Narcissistic partners often require professional intervention, and change is rare without intensive therapy—and even then, it’s a long road.
At Abbey Rose Therapy, we encourage reflection, education, and self-compassion. Understanding the difference between a self-centered partner and a narcissist can help you make empowered decisions for your emotional health. Your love and energy are precious—protecting them isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Warmly, Abbey Vince, AMFT
