Building Your Therapy Toolbox (Gently, Slowly, Your Way)
Hi, friend.
If we’ve been working together—or if you’re just beginning to think about therapy—you might hear me talk about your “therapy toolbox.” That might sound like some mysterious clinical thing, but really, it’s much more personal and soft than it sounds. It’s not a box full of fixes. It’s not even a box that someone hands you, ready-made.
It’s something you build, slowly and gently, piece by piece, as you begin to understand yourself more fully.
What Is a Therapy Toolbox?
Think of it like this:
Your therapy toolbox is a quiet collection of things that help you feel grounded, safe, and seen—especially when life gets loud, heavy, or overwhelming. Some tools help soothe your nervous system. Others help you make sense of your story. Some are about expression. Some are about stillness.
And just like in real life, you don’t use a hammer for every problem. Sometimes, what you need is something soft. Sometimes, what you need is to not do anything at all—just to be.
What Goes in It?
There’s no right answer, and that’s the beauty of it.
Here are just a few examples of things my clients have found helpful over time:
A grounding object—a smooth stone, a favorite hoodie, a scent that feels safe
A playlist of songs that speak for the feelings you can’t quite name
A breathing technique that helps you come back to your body
A journal prompt that lets you spill thoughts onto a page without judgment
A mantra like, “This feeling will pass” or “I don’t have to figure it all out right now”
A list of people who remind you who you are
A drawing, a doodle, a memory, a prayer
The courage to say “no,” or “not right now,” or “I need help”
Sometimes, EMDR becomes part of that toolbox. Not just the formal therapy, but the way it teaches your brain and body that healing is possible. That what happened to you doesn’t get to define you.
Sometimes narrative therapy helps you reshape the story you’ve been telling yourself for years. We don’t erase the past—we learn how to carry it differently.
Why Is It Important?
Because you deserve to have what you need.
You deserve to feel like you have options when things get hard—not just white-knuckling through. You deserve to trust yourself, even a little. Especially on the days when everything feels foggy.
Having a therapy toolbox isn’t about being perfectly regulated all the time. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing you can return to yourself—with care, with compassion, with tools that actually fit you.
A Toolbox Is Built, Not Bought
And here’s the thing: this isn’t a DIY project with a deadline.
It’s more like tending a garden. You plant one small seed at a time. Some things work for a while, and then they don’t anymore. That’s okay. You’re allowed to outgrow your tools and find new ones.
This is your process, and there’s no wrong way to do it.
If you're curious about starting therapy, or if you’re already on your journey and just trying to make sense of it all, know this:
You’re not starting from scratch. You already have the beginnings of a beautiful toolbox—your resilience, your questions, your willingness to even try.
That’s enough to begin.
And I’d love to help you build the rest, whenever you're ready.
With warmth,
Abbey, AMFT
