Backpacks, Butterflies, and Big Feelings: Easing Back-to-School Anxiety

There’s this shift I start noticing every year around late August.

It’s subtle at first — a certain quietness in sessions, a little more tension in the room, more “I don’t know”s when I ask how things are going. School’s starting soon, and for a lot of adolescents, that comes with a whole mix of emotions — most of which they can’t or won’t say out loud.

Sometimes it looks like irritability.
Sometimes it looks like spending more time alone.
Sometimes it’s just... a mood.

The funny thing about back-to-school anxiety in teens is that it rarely shows up how you’d expect. It’s not always nerves and tears. Sometimes it’s:

“Ugh, I don’t care.”
shrugs
“It’s whatever.”

But under that? It’s often:

“What if I don’t fit in?”
“What if I fall behind?”
“What if this year is just too much?”

Even the most laid-back teens feel it. New teachers. New social dynamics. New expectations. It’s a lot — especially when you’re still figuring out who you are and how to be a person in the world.

And let’s be honest — it’s a lot for parents, too.

It’s hard watching your kid pull away or shut down. It’s frustrating when they don’t want to talk. It’s confusing when everything feels like walking on eggshells and no one really says what they mean. Sometimes it feels like you're trying to help, but everything you say lands wrong. Or doesn't land at all.

Here’s what I want to say — this transition? It’s not about fixing anything.
It’s about making space.

Letting them be a little unsure. A little grumpy. A little messy.
Holding the door open without forcing them to walk through it.
Being there without pushing.

That’s what therapy often looks like for adolescents, especially this time of year. It’s a place where they don’t have to perform or be “on.” A place where they can be honest without worrying about disappointing anyone. A place to say, “Actually, yeah — I’m kind of scared,” without needing to explain why.

I work with adolescents who are navigating all of this — the pressure, the overwhelm, the identity stuff, the quiet panic under the surface. I’m not here to tell them how to feel. I’m here to help them make sense of what they are feeling.

So if your teen isn’t acting like themselves right now, just know:
You’re not imagining it.
They’re not being dramatic.
They’re just human.

And if they need support — or if you do — we’re here.

Warmly,

Abbey Vince, AMFT